From my random and ongoing series of short stories (not yet published of course) known as the Neurotica collection: Erotica for the insecure and self-loathing.
This follows from another few excerpts found here and here. In this episode, the female protagonist and her more confident friend Jill are at a Swingers Party. They have found Mr Right Now and are getting into it.
I sit on the bed and slide back to the headboard so I can support my back which always bothers me because although I mean to get to my Pilates class I never do because I just hate myself in yoga pants. I just know if I got there and worked a bit more on my core muscles my back would feel so much better and come to think of it I probably would look pretty good in my yoga pants even if they are a synthetic fibre. I spread my legs to show you what I have and for a moment I worry that what I might have is a stray piece of toilet paper stuck on my hoo-hoo. Then I remember I checked first, before we got here and I was sort of doing that last minute diagnostic to see if the panties and bra matched because one time I went on this date and they totally didn't match and I could tell it kind of killed the moment. Phew. I take the vibrator and turn it on so I can pleasure myself or at least look like I'm doing that because it seems to be what all the guys want these days while Jill nibbles your enormous wiener.